shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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