ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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