Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
