Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
