My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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