I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize