she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
