Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Enjoy the penises
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
