i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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