i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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