During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
