If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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