Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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