There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
smell my finger.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
