Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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