Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
