id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How naked do you want me to be?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
