im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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