considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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