They should really pass out barf bags in church
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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