Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
