This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
