Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
