i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
