I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
