OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
