We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
