Small penises have feelings too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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