Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
