I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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