Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
