Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
