We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
