I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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