Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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