he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
