Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize