in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
