yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
