in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
