yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
