Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
