I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
