dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
