and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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