So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
