I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize