i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
