Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
