do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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