I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
