Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
