dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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