I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just invented taco cereal.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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