She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
