I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
