I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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