see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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