the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
