just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
