did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
