This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
