Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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