You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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