You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
